This post is not an easy one to write. I have edited many times because I wanted to make sure it was "right". But after multiple rewrites I think it is best just to write from the heart.
After learning I was pregnant again, I felt a lot of different emotions. I was happy, but I was also scared. I just wanted a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. A lot of days I had to fight through those fears. I was determined to have faith, but some days were better than others.
I don't know why I had a miscarriage and those whys haunted me for a long time. "If I don't know why, how can I prevent it from happening again?" I would ask myself.
I've had to learn to be okay with not fully understanding some of the whys life brings our way.
For my husband and I miscarriage is something we are getting through, but we will never fully get over. There will always be a piece of hearts that aches for the child we never got to meet.
I feel so blessed that my son was born healthy and I had a healthy pregnancy. I still think about the baby I lost and considered myself to have two living children and one baby who is an angel in heaven.
Our son PJ (hubby's nickname is Pip, so he's Pip Junior aka PJ) is almost two months old and is doing well. My daughter has taken to being a sister well and loves her baby brother. We aren't getting much sleep, but we realize our fortune to have two healthy kids.
Thanks so much for reading this very personal post